My optimism feels like it has been sucked out of me with a straw- directly to the core, hitting that final nerve, knocking every content out of my body into the unknown (for who am I to discuss the contents of my being when they are constantly shifting position, changing shape, falling and lifting in various speeds?)
everything has slowly been crashing down. and I am not one to focus on the haphazard, but the events have stacked in a way that the tower would eventually fall. I knew how to make it- but I was praying that it wouldn't have to be.
I jump to conclusions too swiftly. and by goodness, I am hoping I am wrong (see, there is still some form of optimism). there was something different- maybe is. for the first time, I felt a part of myself truly alive with the potential of something really, really good. and maybe I assumed too much. maybe technology is just lame.
all I know is that a lot of amazing things are happening, coinciding with cherry bomb explosions- you know, the small surprise attacks that, when set off, create something larger, a hit to the soul, to the very core. shock followed by a catharsis, a quick roll of the pathos over the logos...
perhaps I should just remain stoic. but that is not who I am. but I have done it once, twice before. and I am prepared to do it again.
I'm on the fence. please, don't let me down.
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The greatest difficulties always come right before the victory. Pain and hardship are signs that things will begin to turn around in your favor. Birthing pains are always greatest before the birth, but the result is new life, full of great potential.
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