My love is more like a kettle than a box. More like the space within both and what fills it. Kettles need water to sweetly bubble, boil into taking more and softening it with heat. Boxes can be stuffed, air slowly escaping folds and breathing in crevices.
I felt my mind seal. It couldn't look past a room, however colorful the quilts and plants. Outside, I felt the rush of a sigh. And I knew (I've known) that something had to change.
I missed the chance for a real "End of the Year/Resolutions" post, but here it is, better late than never at all. I learned from the end of the year about friendship, and how deep the roots really are. I prepared myself for grad school apps (and I'm still 1-2 away from being completely done!). I received an internship, and left another (if only for a little while). I grew to love my job again. I realized the importance of sleep.
Most importantly, I've decided to put myself first. Which is very unlike me, to be perfectly honest. I'd rather see those around me happy first. But it was time.
My resolution is to strive towards happiness. I have walked out of a room of tropical plants and yarn to discover something beyond it. Maybe I just need a peek, a vacation, a moment.
Because if this is meant to be, then it will be. But for now, I am young, and I am ready.
[A Crime- Sharon van Etten]
Saturday, January 22, 2011
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