Dear heart, don't stop fighting

Believe me, I'm making lists of my dues, what I owe everyone.

It's hard to let people peek into even a bit of my life anymore... Which is oxymoronic of me to say. I'm practically an open book, willing to talk to most things that move. But since the day I realized things weren't the same, I felt myself shut down and off. I have thrown myself into work since the summer, the drives back and forth from home to home to keep my job and try to earn something. Fall quarter I called friends and family in tears-- I lacked sleep. I ate maybe once a day. Avoided food in order to keep a dollar in my pocket. Paid for an apartment on my own. Avoided said apartment because it was cold, too quiet, drafty with old memories. Still dealing with financial family issues (hopefully to be resolved soon). All while trying to keep relationships afloat, a social life, my grades up, applications turned in.

Let's just keep it at this: Last week, from Monday on, was not good. A lot of issues broke out like a fever. I broke from pressures to reply.

Just understand I'm trying my best. I know it may not be good enough for you, but I've stretched myself thin.

[Riot Rhythm- Sleigh Bells]